my favorite meal

House squirrel

Hello ever since i was a little puppy who was an amish dog i loved little critters such as rats and the ever elusive squirrel.

I went outside with my dad and my sister (she is a human baby and does not do too much yet but maybe someday) and I was walking around surveying as I do. All of a suddenly I saw a flash of grey All of my instincts in my insides knew what it was. Every cell screamed: SQUIRREL!!

And before I knew it I was barking! If you do not spend time with me you may not know that I am not a barking so much dog. Many dogs are dogs that bark a lot they bark at things on the street (I know because I hear them when I am out on walks). I do not bark so much. I only bark when it is very VERY important. And I know what important is. It is intruders and it is SQUIRRELS.

Anyway, I was barking at the squirrel and the squirrel was CLIMBING up the side of the house. It made me so MAD! I barked harder! I could not stop with the barking. And then something incredible happened. The barking worked. The evil squirrel fell off the house, and right in front of my paws. WOW! That is what I call every dog having its day.

Anyway, I did not waste time. I pounced. I was like a flash. And the evil squirrel’s soul was suddenly in evil squirrel hell. All I had in my mouth was the squirrel body, which was TASTY. I was a little confused what to do because dad was yelling. I thought he wanted me to drop the squirrel but he didn’t understand that the squirrel wasn’t hurting me. Dad didn’t know I had vanquished the evil squirrel. I threw the squirrel around so he could know.

So before I knew it the tasty squirrel got tastier and I really thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have a little bite. And that bite was very good so then I had another bite. So then suddenly half the squirrel was maybe in my belly. It was very tasty. Then I decided to see what dad was so worked up about.

Anyway, I write this as a warning to all squirrels near my house: If you come near me I will bark and bite because you are evil. I will not hesitate to send your soul to squirrel hell, where all squirrels belong. I am sorry if you do not like this news, but I am only following instincts.

Ernie